Penat pun tak rasa

Assalamualaikum :)

Hikhik. Pagi tadi bangun sesiap terus balik cheras singgah jap then terus berdesup balik manjung.

Sampai manjung buka tudung terus sambung buat manik kat baju nikah. -rupanya beli manik kat manjung much more cheaper than Nilai 3. Haha.

So jahit sambil diperhati few people. Bila dorang impress, sebab jahit manik macam susah rupanya tak, aku mula rasa nak kembang. Tapi banyak lagiiii.. Mohon sempat.

Then sambung balut kabus hantaran. Alhamdulillah laa dah siap balut 7 kabus tu. Lepas ni boleh simpan dalam lemari thrn tunggu sampai tarikh tu baru gubah gubah sikit.

Actually i got one sad news. Tapi malas nak pikir. Huhu. Just i need pray. May Allah gives her the very best condition of health. Aminnn. :(

Ni dah pukul 2. Aku baru siap. Nanti aku cari gambar kalau ada nak gak share hasil tak kreatip aku ni. Haha.

Okkk dah nak terpejam mata. Esok pagi pagi nak balik kampung dah. Zzzzzz. Byeeee. :)

Lagi 20 hari nak jadi isteri orang. Nervousnyaaa. Dalam masa yang sama masih rasa jauh lagi. Haha.

See ya ! :)

Preparation untuk hidup lepas kahwin

Assalamualaikum ;)

Wow unbelievable tau. Lepas dah settle things untuk kahwin, except for some little thing likee.... Jahit manik kat baju nikah  (kitee impress tau rupanya tak susah ponn, tak sabar nak tengok hasil dia. Haha), buat hantaran - rasanya tu je kot dah tinggal untuk prep kahwin.

Sekarang dah kena pikir untuk lepas kahwin. First, RUMAH SEWA. kite bukan anak orang kaya parent bagi hadiah rumah teros, dengan tulang pat kerat ni la weols kumpul duit nak cari rumah. Yang buatkan cerita ni complicated is work place aku. Aku nak transfer ke setapak tapi tak tau lagi bila. In this year la inshaAllah. Estimate by March or April (mintak la March, aminnn).

Aku perasan je Moja kalo part nak cari rumah ni dia malas nak ambik port lagi. Bukan sebab apa, sebab tempat keja aku la punya pasal. Haha. Tapi nak hidup berdua JE lepas kahwin. Tapi tak nak pikir kan masalah aku. Erk actually aku pon dah beruban pikirkan masalah ni. Huhuhuhuhu.

Percaya tak urusan rumah ni distracted gila. Aku tengah buat keja terberenti. Tengah buat apa apa pon akan terberenti dok search rumah. Haha.

Yang bangang sikit tu we dont even sure where to live. So macam aku buat keja bodoh laa. Dok survey for nothing. Haha

Kenapaa la setiap kali nak start sem urusan aku mesti part keja dengan rumah. Tskk.

First sem: tunggu hostel uia tak dapat, last last dok rumah nenek.
Second: sama gak. Last last duduk dengan fathin (squatting)
Third: fathin keluar hostel. So i have to find new place. Yang ni tragic. Haha. Last last duduk kat batu 8 gombak. Sorang beb satu bilik di level 3. SORANG. Kat sini aku baru tau aku ni berani gila. Haha.
Forth: dapat offer keja putrajaya. So... Cari rumah. Dapat sewa bilik kat presint 11. Ni tengah dok situ laa ni.

Kali ni mencabar lagi. Kalo dulu max budget rm250 sorang sekarang untuk dua orang rm800 (last we can afford)

Ciri ciri aku nak: lantai kalau boleh biar mozek kaler putih. Kalo flat kena ada beranda. Parking okk. Nak keluar pagi tak sesak sangat. Kawasan selamat.

Doakan urusan ni selesai sebelum nikah tauu. Aminn.

Bye esok keja. :)

Journal Thesis 1

Assalamualaikum =)


Hi this is the day that i decide to start writing my concept paper. I give the dateline to myself on by end of January 2015 I must finish this and submit it to the supervisor. so another 5 more days.

I read few thesis before I start mine. seriously, the more I read, the more I feel confused. HAHA. it's like on my first article of 'quality of childcare' I do feel, yes I need this. second, 'yes this is more important', third 'oh this one is better'. up to the last point......

WHICH ONE???

so I have three proposed topic on my draft paper. I go with the first, maybe. but i have to try to make it relevant with my field of study, educational psychology.

ease my way Allah...

challenging moment for this part is, I work with no dateline. nobody will force me and ask 'when you going to submit?' NOBODY!
second, no one will look along my progress. I have to show my one and half skill of research through out the study. after done, show to the supervisor, she see it, either reject or add the idea. but for the research skill, please find by my own.

it will be me who will ask myself and struggle for it. my only dateline is I'm going to complete thi master and convo this Oct 2015. wish i can achieve it. another 9 months.

so overall this is my first thesis in the making journal. inshaAllah if I have ample time will update all the progress. for future me to read and remember the moment. hikhik.

ops link i used for reference

-Library Presint 11, 12.00pm-

bye!

Anti-social

Assalamualaikum:)

Sapa anti social tuu? Sapaaa?? Aku rasa aku ada sikit kot perangai ni. Slowly develop.

Yang aku ingat laa it started masa aku start master. Masa tu, mula mula masuk ke zaman yang baru, which that time dah takdee dah kengkawan nak makan sama sama, beli baju sama sama semua. Most of the time aku sorang sorang.

Mula mula aku sanggup berlapar. Tak makan semua la sebab takut nak pegi cafe sorang sorang thou cafe HS. padahal cafe HS tu level selamat paling hero lah.

Lama nak build self confidence. Sampai laa 2 months lepas tu, dalam first sem master aku rasa dah aku tak tahan nak berlapar. So what makan sorang- sorang? So what jalan sorang-sorang?

Pelan pelan... Dari makan ke shopping mall ke mana mana. Sampai aku jadi tak kisah teros. Malahan, makin lama makin worst..

Sekarang la tuu.. Aku jadi tak suka nak ikut orang keluar ke apa. Aku malas nak merayap lepas kerja semua. Aku seronok dengan my loner life. Weekend pon kadang kadang aku ok je kalo dok rumah buat kerja kerja rumah, baca buku.

Worst sebab.... Aku dah macam takde kawan sangat. Haha. Sedih la jugak. Tapi bila match kan dengan personality aku, tak kisah laa. Asalkan hati aku happy.

Nasib laa Allah tu baik. Dalam perangai aku dah prefer nak be a loner pon dia still bagi pasangan hidup. Nasib jugak benda ni start lepas aku dah kenal Moja. Kalau takk....

So sekarang tengah dobi baju. Lepas sengsorang kat kedai mamak sebelah dobi. Takde hal pon. Best je ada tv, ada gelagat manusia. :)

Okk dah nak siap kot baju aku. Bye!

Send them away

Assalamualaikum :)

One moment in my life the Sarawak and Sabah become one famous state among our discussion. Why?

Bcs govt send around 700++ fresh grad teacher to there. And almost all of my friends in my batch have to go there.

Most sadly is Jiha, Alya, Hah also will send there. So last night was our last day. Oh but a bit lucky bcs Jiha didnt go yet. Later...

So the moment was so.... Seriously SAD. Thou we not always see each other, the feeling of staying so far apart is very.....

But really hope all of us have a good future ahead. Amin amin. Hopefully lagi, we will still be friend and keep in touch lije this day. Tskk.

I.... Chose for leave the counselor world. Good bye my previous interest. Tsk tsk. :(

Okbaii :)

Another pre wedding post

Assalamualaikum :)

Now im in the middle of rungsing. Rungsing apa lagi? Rungsing pasal rumah. Yelaa kalo boleh lepas kahwin nak duduk sama sama. Berdua. Makan maggi kee makan mee kee makan roti kee bersama. You makan i masak, i angkat baju you sidai. -imagine tinggi kan?

Previously, kaklin my workmate, kind of talking about want to let me rent her kuarters. Aku dah imagine start hidup kat situ..ya Allah heaven sangat. Tapi harini bad things happened.

Tetiba HQ Permata tu cakap ratio anak 30: teacher 4. Weols ni ada 5 orang. To add up till 40 is very impossible. Bcs our space is limited. (Bila dengar berita ni aku dah rasa hilang pertimbangan sikit. Rasa nak lapor diri kat JPN Kedah je ni. Tsk)

So now, tak tau la which one of us going to move but as the junior there could be me. Plus, i havent find the place to settle down yet, if i need to move i would say OK. Jangan sampai aku bayar deposit bagai, then kena move. Itu memang bengang.

Kaklin pon tetiba macam berat nak pindah. So....

RUNGSING lah. Mana nak duduk lepas ni. Takkan nak kena duduk asing asing? Alaaa tak bestnyaa.. tsk tsk.

Wish this thing settle ya. Okk musk yogurt iols dah kering. Byeee. :)

2015

Assalamualaikum :)

Hi 2015! Harapnya  semua entry positif positif jelaa untuk tatapan sendiri lepas ni.

First, alhamdulillah exam and subjects semua dah selesai. Allah helps me to finish all the subjects dengan tenang and most importantly on time. Syukur. Now move to the thesis part. I work with no dateline now all depends on me. :)

Second, pembukaan 2015 i got the offer for be a counselor BUT at KEDAH. actually not worst at all. Kedah je pun. Kawan kawan aku kat sabah sarawak. Tapi.... tah laa. Sebab nak kahwin ni aku pilih for not to go. I really hope Allah with me for this decision. I have my own career plan harapnya it goes as planned. Amin aminn. :)

Third...... few days left before hidup berdua. Im so nervous about this. Kadang kadang rasa macam ready kee ni nak hidup sama sama? Lepas ni banyak benda berubah. Part yang obvious, permission tu la. Which, previously, i kind of person who live on my own. Lepas ni... kalau malas masak kena masak gak. Sekarang kalau malas nugget pon dah cukup. Peh nervous. Lagi penting part kena sediakan breakfast. Sekarang 1 jam before masuk keja baru bangun. Lepas ni kena awal. Ya Allah risau nya. Sekarang kalau habis bulan gaji abis pon xde hal lah. Aku je punya perot. Lepas ni.... banyak lagi... kalau fikir tu rasa tak ready. So i try for not to think just face it.

Forth, doakan semua preparation berjalan lancar dan baik. Almost ok kot rasanya. Tapi takkan la dapat pleased and puaskan hati semua. Semoga semua baik baik sajaaa. Aminn. :)

Semoga 2015 ni betul betul brings improvement to us. In small or big matter. Just find something to improve. InshaAllah.

Though

Assalamualaikum :(

Though day for me. Again i have to make another decision. Job kee career decision. Susah cerita ni. Back to my previous previous entry, aku memang banyak lompat lompat keja. Boleh laa nak kata camni. Sepanjang sem master ni, so far 4 sem, aku memang keja tuka keja.

And i thought being in PERMATA is the last for a while, but seems like not. So....

Currently i have to make another decision. Kalini i guess for last, inshaAllah.

KPM start calling for posting. Havent get the place yet. I maybe want to take this job bcs- i love to have the very busy life, work with big community, err

But my passion maybe on PERMATA. so.... what should i follow?

Kalini da la macam lifetime punya career. Cuaknya laaa hai.

Havent found the answer yet. Still ask from Him to give the guide. Huhu  :(

Pray eh!

Allah tak uji kalau kita tak layak kan?

Assalamualaikum

Harini jumpa umi. Jalan jalan pegi nilai. Emm... she just finished with the city scan and all. The result came out. And...

Chemo again. Have another cancer inside her. MashaAllah. Tell me to be strong as i cant :(

I dont know. My 2014 was full of unexpected. One of it umi's cancer. She used to be independent and strong woman but this 2014 changed her a lot. I need my old umi back.

I thought after the radiotherapy last time was the end, as i really cant wait to see the healthy her. But seems like not.

Another twelve times of chemo. Im not blame anyone. I understand Allah gives this to us as He know we are strong. And i really hope umi also strong. Aminnnn.

Allah as u heard all the doa, please Allah let her be healthy again. I miss to see her smile. Her very strong body. The old her. Please Allahhh...

Gokd night.