cancer caregiver

Assalamualaikum ;(


last time, I text Dr Haniza told her about my mom condition and all. then she said there is a support group for cancer patient and caregiver. that time, I was like... ehh why caregiver needs a support?

masa tu umi masih boleh buat some of works by herself. like mandi, makan, etc etc. but since we chose to have some treatment (chemo) so by now she's quite unable to help herself maybe chemo effect or something. but I still positive. hopefully by the treatment given, she can back to herself after this. amin aminnn.


so bila she can't even help herself, we can't even leave her for a second. there must be somebody stay with her. since anak-anak semua kerja and belaja, so abi lah yang selalu jaga umi. ya Allah sedih sangat part ni. tengok how's abi jaga without going anywhere is really something for me. abi used to be someone yang suka fresh air. dia kalau takde kerja pon normally he will lepak at mamak with his friend. but now?

dah lah this time seriously she can't even move to take her meds nearby to her bed. so she keeps calling us time to time. plus she wants lot of weird things which she never need them during her healthy time. like,,,, nescafe ice at 10pm.

so kadang-kadang syaitan tu cari je masa untuk aku bengang waktu jaga umi. macam tadi, tah laa baru sehari not even 24 hours yet, aku dah jadi penat and almost mad. masyaAllahhh.. ;(

dia macam aku jadi unstable mood rasa nak marah bila baru je nak duduk dah kena panggil, tisu jatuh. then, I need a washroom thou she's wearing diapers. actually aku paham psychology orang sakit dia bukan nak kan tisu jatuh sangat pon, but she's more to get an attention kot. tak silap lah.

every time aku macam dah penat, cecepat aku istighfar and ingat balik how tough she take care of us. ;(

betul betul betul, anak sepuluh orang takkan mampu jaga emak seorang. tsk.


tadi masa i done all before put her into bed, she said thanks akak. i was like, umi you don't have to say thanks. then she asked what time you going to work tomorrow? 630am. ok salam lah siap-siap, kot masa akak pergi umi tengah mandi. ya Allah sedunya time ni. she kissed my cheek, i really bad at expressing feeling. aku cakap okand go. which actually i want her to know what i write here. tskkk.


dah laa air mata dah kena kat spek. tak nampak screen laptop dah. Allah all we have by now is you. you create a pain and only You have a way to cure it. please Allah, please....